Swedish Fish - Care and Maintenance

Table of Contents

Part 1 - Introduction to Swedish Fish

Most people believe that Swedish Fish are simply a tasty treat. This could not be further from the truth! Swedish Fish actually originated in (you guessed it) Sweden, but due to their sweetness, gumminess, and lack of bones, they are commonly bred in gummy-fish farms all over the world. After they are the proper age, they are then gathered up, processed, and bagged for consumption by evil individuals who care more for their sweets than for the life of innocent fishies!

Packaged Swedish FishJust take a look at the picture to the right. Here we have a Swedish Fish straight from the package. Here are some signs that this Swedish Fish is in trouble!

  • Dehydration
  • Bulging eyes
  • Anxiety / Depression
  • Visible loss of fin-to-eye coordination
  • Need I go on?

It is up to you to rescue these poor creatures from the hands of the hungry! You must save them from a life of pre-packaged madness! Fortunately, Swedish Fish make perfect pets. Read below for more information!

Part 2 - Where To Find Swedish Fish

A Bag of Swedish FishYou can find Swedish Fish anywhere! The best place is in the candy isle of your local grocery store. They come in a wide variety of packages and colors. I recommend buying the biggest bag you can find, so you can rescue even more Swedish Fish!

To the right you will see a bag of standard red Swedish Fish. You can get other colors, but only red Swedish Fish are found in the wild. The multi-colored Swedish Fish have been treated with harsh dyes and chemicals!

Part 3 - Giving Your Swedish Fish A Home

Once you have brought your new pets home, you must find a place for them to live. Any container of water will work, but be careful of toilets and sinks (especially ones with garbage disposals!). You should find your Swedish Fish a nice stable home, such as a fish tank.

I like put gravel or aquarium rocks in the bottom of my Swedish Fish tanks. It also does not hurt to put in a few plastic plants. A few plants will make your Swedish Fish feel comfortable, as it mimics it's natural habitat (Swedish lakes are known to have plastic plants).

Next, simply fill up your tank with fresh water. Be careful not to use salt water. Swedish Fish are fresh water creatures! Now all you have to do is open up your package of Swedish Fish, and pour them into the nice cool water. Do not worry if they sink, or float, or just sit there doing nothing. They have been through a traumatic experience, and might still be in shock!

Part 4 - Feeding your Swedish Fish

Pixie Sticks make great Swedish Fish foodIf there is one thing I have learned about Swedish Fish in my many years of research, it's that they absolutely love candy! Any kind of candy will do, but remember they do not have teeth, so nothing too hard.

Pixie Sticks are a popular food among Swedish Fish. I usually recommend 1 stick per fish per day. The water may get cloudy
with the powder, but it will eventually settle
to the bottom of the tank.

Other good foods include: Pop-Rocks, Crushed Smarties, and Pure Sugar.

Part 5 - Treating A Sick Swedish Fish

If after several weeks your Swedish Fish still do not seem to be very active, they are most likely sick! Below are some very good remedies for Swedish Fish who are not feeling their best. Only try one remedy at a time, otherwise it could endanger your new pets!

  • Pixie Stick Therapy - Place your Swedish Fish in a bag full of pixie stick powder. Shake. Wait 15 minutes. Place back in tank.
  • The Swedish Shake - Pour the tank into your blender. Puree for 2 minutes. Return contents to tank (can be messy).

Part 6 - Miscellaneous Information

Below are some common questions and answers.

Q: What is the life span of a Swedish Fish?
A: Up to 5 years. By then the water is usually pretty mucky.

Q: What are some good names for my Swedish Fish?
A: I recommend getting a 'Baby Name' book. They are full of ideas!

Q: My cat ate my Swedish Fish! Help!
A: Unfortunately they are gone. Buy another bag!

Q: Do Swedish Fish have any natural enemies?
A: Yes! Porcupines!

Q: I found half of a Swedish Fish in my package. What do I do?
A: *sigh* This is the result of genetic manipulation gone bad. He is past help.

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