Cthulhu vs Chuck Norris!

TentacleThingy · Post by **TentacleThingy** » Sun Jul 13, 2008 2:12 am

In the same vein as Cthulhu vs Godzilla, I give you CTHULHU VS CHUCK NORRIS!
Sure Cthulhu is a giant monster who can turn people insane and can rend foes with his mighty jaws, but can anyone really beat Chuck Norris?

Enkil · Post by **Enkil** » Sun Jul 13, 2008 6:02 am

Bruce Lee did, and Cthulhu would too.

JJ Burke · Post by **JJ Burke** » Sun Jul 13, 2008 7:56 am

chuck norris would require the help of david hasselhoff and probably emmanuel lewis too—just to escape the arena with a shred of sanity. ironically, hasselhoff and lewis would then be missing in action

Ian Whateley · Post by **Ian Whateley** » Sun Jul 13, 2008 9:37 am

I've pondered this question a great deal, and it has kept me up many a night. It is my hypothesis that, since according to lore Nyarlathotep shall manifest himself to herald Cthulhu's resurection, Nyarlathotep would obviously choose to manifest himself by possessing Chuck Norris.

The combination would be unstoppable.

Eternities End · Post by **Eternities End** » Sun Jul 13, 2008 3:13 pm

If Chuck Norris died in the ultimate showdown, he's not invisible, unfortunately cthulhu re-assembles after he dies, except when someone drives a boat into his face, so I figure Chuck would have to jump down his throat and pulverize his brain in order to actually kill him...either way both would die.

Razakel · Post by **Razakel** » Mon Jul 14, 2008 2:37 am

Have you read the list of things Chuck Norris does??? A species of animal can't go extinct without his approval

Just watch your back Cthulhu..... watch your back....

TentacleThingy · Post by **TentacleThingy** » Mon Jul 14, 2008 5:50 pm

Razakel wrote:
Just watch your back Cthulhu..... watch your back....

Damn straight!

JJ Burke · Post by **JJ Burke** » Mon Jul 14, 2008 6:17 pm

well then panda bears must not fear the norris, since they're endangered by choice (don't feel much like procreating)

Eternities End · Post by **Eternities End** » Mon Jul 14, 2008 10:46 pm

and they live in mountainous regions yet feed on bamboo that tends to grow in lower more arid regions...

Ian Whateley · Post by **Ian Whateley** » Tue Jul 15, 2008 7:55 pm

Cthulhu would call on Yog-Sothoth, and Pop! C.N. is on another planet, without air...

Eternities End · Post by **Eternities End** » Tue Jul 15, 2008 9:01 pm

He doesn't need air, he can survive on his own musk.

JJ Burke · Post by **JJ Burke** » Wed Jul 16, 2008 3:52 am

he could breathe his beardosphere, if you believe in such theoretical poppycock

odin2 · Post by **odin2** » Thu Jul 17, 2008 11:40 pm

When Chuck Norris does a pushup he does NOT push up, but rather he pushes the earth down.....

But Cthulhu would still drive Chuck insane.

Eternities End · Post by **Eternities End** » Fri Jul 18, 2008 1:48 pm

JJ Burke wrote:he could breathe his beardosphere, if you believe in such theoretical poppycock

Than how can he breathe underwater?

miz redavni · Post by **miz redavni** » Fri Jul 18, 2008 1:49 pm

POPPYCOCK? WHAT THE HELL IS POPPYCOCK?!