Books bound in human skin

krakenten · Post by **krakenten** » Sat Apr 08, 2006 4:05 pm

In all of the Mythos fiction I've read, I can never recall a mention of Cthulhu eating anything, except for a cryptic exerpt from the Necronomicon:
"He eats umbrellas, gunny sacks, brass doorknobs, glue and carpet tacks.
How most unpleasing to be sure,
His other habits are obscure."

E.A. Lovecraft · Post by **E.A. Lovecraft** » Sat Apr 08, 2006 4:39 pm

Maybe if he got more fiber he wouldn't be so cranky.

krakenten · Post by **krakenten** » Sat Apr 08, 2006 5:13 pm

Somehow, I doubt it.

(Apologies to the great Edward Gorey for borrowing a bit from the Wuggly Ump)

Jesus Prime · Post by **Jesus Prime** » Sat Apr 08, 2006 5:35 pm

I think the world would be in grave danger if Cthulhu's bowel movements became increasingly regular.

Yog-Sothoth · Post by **Yog-Sothoth** » Sat Apr 08, 2006 5:58 pm

heheheheh, i guess that explaines the Boop that was picked up off the coast of south south west South America.

Jesus Prime · Post by **Jesus Prime** » Sat Apr 08, 2006 6:12 pm

It's the cause of the Mexican earthquake a while back.

JJ Burke · Post by **JJ Burke** » Sat Apr 08, 2006 6:22 pm

the tsunami in asia was caused by catastrophic undersea flatulence after cthulhu devoured a 25,000-year-old can of pickled plankton found in the ruins of mu

i swear, this guy told me

Jesus Prime · Post by **Jesus Prime** » Sat Apr 08, 2006 6:28 pm

Was his name Seamus?

JJ Burke · Post by **JJ Burke** » Sat Apr 08, 2006 6:31 pm

when you're dealing in top secret information, it's bad form to ask names

Jesus Prime · Post by **Jesus Prime** » Sat Apr 08, 2006 7:16 pm

Ok. Did he have a smell of distilled and fermented barley about him?

Yog-Sothoth · Post by **Yog-Sothoth** » Sat Apr 08, 2006 9:14 pm

okay, can we stop talking about the Father in law crapping in the sea? its getting disgusting...

E.A. Lovecraft · Post by **E.A. Lovecraft** » Sat Apr 08, 2006 10:13 pm

Can you imagine the agony of passing umbrellas and carpet tacks? The origin of red tides is no longer a mystery.

Jesus Prime · Post by **Jesus Prime** » Sun Apr 09, 2006 4:26 am

I think he's got a colon big enough to handle them.

krakenten · Post by **krakenten** » Sun Apr 09, 2006 7:21 am

He probably uses broken glass to clean himself up.
This thread is degenerating.

E.A. Lovecraft · Post by **E.A. Lovecraft** » Sun Apr 09, 2006 10:17 am

It was doomed from the beginning.