My second attempt at a 'Lovecraft'

yogsototh · Post by **yogsototh** » Fri Jul 22, 2005 1:47 am

Hi, I feel this is a good improvment over Intersteller Oblivion, my first attempt, but any comments would be greatly appreciated, thanx

BTW: I signed up with the pen name Ixtharion in the temple of Dagon, I thought it more original than yogsototh

Jesus Prime · Post by **Jesus Prime** » Fri Jul 22, 2005 4:10 pm

Pretty good, I thought. My only gripe (and it's a minor one) is that you haven't taken a new line for speech. Para example -

"Speech" says Cthulhu
"Reply" Azathoth replied
"Witty quip" Rejoined Cthulhu
"Quite"
"Yes"
"Indeed"

And so forth.

yogsototh · Post by **yogsototh** » Mon Jul 25, 2005 8:47 am

Fixed those quotes, and some other minor adjestments. Reads better now (Ithink)
Thanx for the advice, I still find Dialogue a little confusing at times

Jesus Prime · Post by **Jesus Prime** » Mon Jul 25, 2005 4:17 pm

Yeah, it's mainly that properly spaced dialogue reads better, and looks better too. Several people speaking in one block of text is quite hard to follow.

yogsototh · Post by **yogsototh** » Sun Nov 20, 2005 10:33 am

Hi all. I got this story published (in a slightly revised form) in an e-zine, that's why I took it out of the public archive. It was my first time submitting a story to a publisher so I guess I'm just a little excited. Anyway se yas

Jesus Prime · Post by **Jesus Prime** » Sun Nov 20, 2005 3:44 pm

Good lad. There's a thread in one of the other sections here about getting published, if you want some more advice.

Adrian · Post by **Adrian** » Sun Nov 20, 2005 4:41 pm

Basically I've been down that road of trying to get my first stories published *nods at Nicholas* and what any decent publisher hates is a lovecraftian story that's lovecraftian. Get it? Like flashing red herrings and mythos names and so on in the readers face just to let everyone know that the story is about "cosmic horror" or something along those lines. If a lovecraftian writer wants to be successful then he or she has to find a personal way to show a new angle to it all

Jesus Prime · Post by **Jesus Prime** » Sun Nov 20, 2005 4:59 pm

I go at it really wierdly. I drop red herrings, alright, but they lead you into thinking it's another straight up Mythos tale. Then bang! Either the Bible, or Dr Seuss, or Soviet-era glasnost comes into play.

Adrian · Post by **Adrian** » Sun Nov 20, 2005 5:06 pm

As I happen to live in Estonia maybe I should to a piece about glasnost related Mythos

?

Jesus Prime · Post by **Jesus Prime** » Sun Nov 20, 2005 5:12 pm

Possibly. My current project, a monologue from a Russian man, concerns the meeting of glasnost and "The Horror At Red Hook".

Adrian · Post by **Adrian** » Sun Nov 20, 2005 5:14 pm

I'm interested to see what a western writer makes of it.

Jesus Prime · Post by **Jesus Prime** » Sun Nov 20, 2005 5:16 pm

By 'glasnost', all I really mean is the beginning of the end of Soviet Russian seclusion - is there more to it?

Adrian · Post by **Adrian** » Sun Nov 20, 2005 5:24 pm

The glasnost means more something like in the lines of the KGB turning into mobsters that now rule Russia and somewhat lighter way of revealing state secrets as the new leaders threw some bones to the people as a sign of 'trust'. It was about being able to say out aloud that Stalin was shit in a market square without the fear of having your whole family shot in the basement tomorrow. It means the fall of an empire and the start of a cheap version of the Old West where mobsters rule and learders look democratic. Oh, and soldiers selling bullets and uniforms in return of money for soup as the army's funds were cut.

Jesus Prime · Post by **Jesus Prime** » Sun Nov 20, 2005 5:27 pm

Yeah, that's what I thought. Primary concern is with the release of state records and the like. I'll send you it for proofreading when it's done, in case it's too derisive.

Adrian · Post by **Adrian** » Sun Nov 20, 2005 5:29 pm

Great, send it on MSN when ready.