When Idiots Attack Volume #35
Posted: Mon Aug 02, 2004 10:24 pm
SOMETHINGAWFUL.COM CLONES:
People love themselves, don't they? In fact, they are so filled with their own inane shit-stained beauty, they feel the need to become something they are not, and even if they were, they cannot do it well. Take ranting in a comedy fashion, for example. Somethingawful.com is one of the most hilarious outlets for everything-parodied I have ever seen. They are truly masters of their craft. They have no contemporaries, or competition, to many a laughing internet surfer's delight. There are people online who have copied them time and again, and to what end? A page and a half of hate mail with responses? How many of these lard licking bastards faked all the mails and then responded simply to impress some chick named igotyourdick3244@yahoo.com? How many of these simian retards have no penis, but claim to have the largest on the planet? How many of these people are the same person?
All those things cannot be answered, but one thing is for certain, the internet has enabled a veritable ARMY of sex-starved, overweight, self-righteous hooligans the chance to stake a claim in the world of "i'm right and your a dumbfuck". The alarming rate at which these nipple-gnawing teet theives are multiplying makes me want to commit genocide!
Take "rathergood.com" for a primer. This guy is completely using the wrong street drug. He has absolutely no ability to make sense, but somehow garners laughs from people. How, do you ask, does he do this? Simple, the majority of his ass licking audience are easily amused. How hard is it to make Corky from 'Life Goes On' grin and giggle at an animated crab screaming "iiahdkjlshfskjfh". Who actually admits in their closed doors at home that this shit has any substance beyond an temporary grin? It is madness!
Another example of failed experiment in 'I'm Something Awful Too!":
"The Best Page In the Universe": this guy only exists because people validate his ego enough to keep him from blowing his brains out all over his packard bell monitor, which flickers to "we got the beat" and has ringtones installed so he doesn't forget his prozac enema. The guy attacks everything, but says NOTHING. How many licks does it take to get to the center of this moron's hollow skull? Ask Dr. Kevorkian, kids.
And yet another exmaple of how the internet is being abused by people who can only inhale between pelvic thrusts at the sight of a dead anime character:
"Hate.net Forums": The lovely coven of numbskulls who run this pile of festering fecal matter actually believe that hating people without reason, logic, or justification is comedy. That makes about as much sense as attempting to patent "RETARDATION". I signed up to this gem of wasted bandwidth out of boredom one evening. I logged into my lovely new account, and I was then told I have to EARN the RIGHT to speak on a PUBLIC forum? Ah, who made you the verbosity police? Clue: Stop breeding, save the human race, well at least until I find a way to eradicate you all.
- this rant rated infinitely more important than your mom by me
People love themselves, don't they? In fact, they are so filled with their own inane shit-stained beauty, they feel the need to become something they are not, and even if they were, they cannot do it well. Take ranting in a comedy fashion, for example. Somethingawful.com is one of the most hilarious outlets for everything-parodied I have ever seen. They are truly masters of their craft. They have no contemporaries, or competition, to many a laughing internet surfer's delight. There are people online who have copied them time and again, and to what end? A page and a half of hate mail with responses? How many of these lard licking bastards faked all the mails and then responded simply to impress some chick named igotyourdick3244@yahoo.com? How many of these simian retards have no penis, but claim to have the largest on the planet? How many of these people are the same person?
All those things cannot be answered, but one thing is for certain, the internet has enabled a veritable ARMY of sex-starved, overweight, self-righteous hooligans the chance to stake a claim in the world of "i'm right and your a dumbfuck". The alarming rate at which these nipple-gnawing teet theives are multiplying makes me want to commit genocide!
Take "rathergood.com" for a primer. This guy is completely using the wrong street drug. He has absolutely no ability to make sense, but somehow garners laughs from people. How, do you ask, does he do this? Simple, the majority of his ass licking audience are easily amused. How hard is it to make Corky from 'Life Goes On' grin and giggle at an animated crab screaming "iiahdkjlshfskjfh". Who actually admits in their closed doors at home that this shit has any substance beyond an temporary grin? It is madness!
Another example of failed experiment in 'I'm Something Awful Too!":
"The Best Page In the Universe": this guy only exists because people validate his ego enough to keep him from blowing his brains out all over his packard bell monitor, which flickers to "we got the beat" and has ringtones installed so he doesn't forget his prozac enema. The guy attacks everything, but says NOTHING. How many licks does it take to get to the center of this moron's hollow skull? Ask Dr. Kevorkian, kids.
And yet another exmaple of how the internet is being abused by people who can only inhale between pelvic thrusts at the sight of a dead anime character:
"Hate.net Forums": The lovely coven of numbskulls who run this pile of festering fecal matter actually believe that hating people without reason, logic, or justification is comedy. That makes about as much sense as attempting to patent "RETARDATION". I signed up to this gem of wasted bandwidth out of boredom one evening. I logged into my lovely new account, and I was then told I have to EARN the RIGHT to speak on a PUBLIC forum? Ah, who made you the verbosity police? Clue: Stop breeding, save the human race, well at least until I find a way to eradicate you all.
- this rant rated infinitely more important than your mom by me
