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a fusion of poetry and horror

Posted: Fri Oct 01, 2004 10:41 am
by bill
What I tried to do with the trilogy I'm working on is a fusion of poetry and action where poetics are used to set an "image" in the readers mind.
This is a brief excerpt from book3 which I am currenly working on.


“Fandral vous si~`teeium dales,” James whispers. Inside the pentagram of scarlet flames a purple mass forms. It howls like a thousand winds, like the wailing of death upon the blackish of seas. Josh has traveled this warlock’s sojourn before. He knows something has gone wrong, something has gone terribly wrong. Josh reaches over and clasps James’s hand. He prepares to greet death. The vortex pulls both men inside its malignant fury. There is nothing now, no awareness, no feeling, no pain. No Mountain exists beneath their feet; there is neither sun nor moon or sky. Colors melt into sound, a discordant symphony of hells. All things are one and all things are nothing. Eternity ends and blackness reigns. There is a scream, a piercing scream, and then there is only the silence once more.

Light comes softly, and then sound and the world returns to Josh Riley’s eyes. He looks around and tries to concentrate, to remember all that has happened. There is a boy, a young man lying crumbled up in a heap by his feet. His mouth feels so dry like every ounce of fluid has been drained from his body. Leaning forward, Josh reaches down and brushes the man’s collar. The body stirs below him, turns stiffly and looks up.
“Josh, where are we? Can you remember what happened?”
“The vortex swept us inside of the mountain,” Josh answers in a sandpaper voice. “We’re in a cavern and I have a real bad feeling about this.” There is a fluttering of wings, a crimson fog and then silence. The fog shifts and takes on a form. Turel stands nearby the two holding a parchment. With one arm, he reaches down and lifts the young man off of the ground.
“What do you know of the trinity, boy?” Turel asks in a harsh whisper before dropping him to the floor of the cavern. James Richards stumbles and falls as Josh leaps to his feet and races over. Turel steps aside with a mocking laugh. “Only Mark, the one known as Lifthrasir had the ability to defeat Semjaza. He is gone now to seeming godhood but the apocalypse of silence remains within our grasp.”
“Mesphisto spoke to me of this apocalypse, this devil’s terminus,” Josh answered. “It is not God’s will and we will stop you like we stopped him!” Turel steps forward, raises his arm and then stares into Josh’s face. His eyes become twin crimson rivers of anger. Then he simply shakes his head with a look of contempt.
“Stop us, Turel laughs, you’re one of us now.” There is reddish mist that envelopes the vampire lord, a fluttering of wings and he is gone.
Josh bends down over James. There is a small trickle of blood running from a cut he sustained when he fell. He pulls back in revulsion when he lifts James’ head up. There are twin puncture marks on his neck. Josh quickly reaches up to check his own throat. He also carries the bite marks. Viewing the blood, he suddenly feels a hunger start to consume him. Turel’s laughter fills the cavern.

Posted: Sat Oct 02, 2004 5:18 am
by NickolausPacione
This is more my territory because I do a lot of this on my own work. If you really want to do something that is a kicker use the poetry as the interlude. It is always a tricky thing to do but when I do this, I always write the poetry when I am writing the story. Sometimes use the poetry to introduce it or set the tone for something very dark, or use it to build the tension.

Posted: Sat Oct 02, 2004 8:53 am
by bill
Thanks, Nick
I've read your work online and have always enjoyed it.
bill

Posted: Thu Oct 28, 2004 9:15 pm
by NickolausPacione
It is cool to hear that someone appreciates what I am able to contribute to the horror genre. I do a lot for the genre, and sometimes I don't always know what I am capable of pulling off. The Cthulhu Mythos had been my strongest territory when it comes to writing horror. Your style here does step into H.P. Lovecraft's territory -- the way it is told is one that I can see the climbing interludes and possibly the "That which is not dead may eternal lie" crawling in there. But you want to really build the tension with the story -- write a poem with a really cryptic tone to it. The more cryptic it is -- the scarier the story will become.

Posted: Fri Oct 29, 2004 12:07 am
by decadence
...

Posted: Sat Oct 30, 2004 5:27 pm
by NickolausPacione
Add more aggression to it. Give it a real growl.

Posted: Sat Oct 30, 2004 9:49 pm
by decadence
and once again "...."