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Posted: Sat Apr 08, 2006 4:05 pm
by krakenten
In all of the Mythos fiction I've read, I can never recall a mention of Cthulhu eating anything, except for a cryptic exerpt from the Necronomicon:
"He eats umbrellas, gunny sacks, brass doorknobs, glue and carpet tacks.
How most unpleasing to be sure,
His other habits are obscure."
Posted: Sat Apr 08, 2006 4:39 pm
by E.A. Lovecraft
Maybe if he got more fiber he wouldn't be so cranky.
Posted: Sat Apr 08, 2006 5:13 pm
by krakenten
Somehow, I doubt it.
(Apologies to the great Edward Gorey for borrowing a bit from the Wuggly Ump)
Posted: Sat Apr 08, 2006 5:35 pm
by Jesus Prime
I think the world would be in grave danger if Cthulhu's bowel movements became increasingly regular.
Posted: Sat Apr 08, 2006 5:58 pm
by Yog-Sothoth
heheheheh, i guess that explaines the Boop that was picked up off the coast of south south west South America.
Posted: Sat Apr 08, 2006 6:12 pm
by Jesus Prime
It's the cause of the Mexican earthquake a while back.
Posted: Sat Apr 08, 2006 6:22 pm
by JJ Burke
the tsunami in asia was caused by catastrophic undersea flatulence after cthulhu devoured a 25,000-year-old can of pickled plankton found in the ruins of mu
i swear, this guy told me
Posted: Sat Apr 08, 2006 6:28 pm
by Jesus Prime
Was his name Seamus?
Posted: Sat Apr 08, 2006 6:31 pm
by JJ Burke
when you're dealing in top secret information, it's bad form to ask names
Posted: Sat Apr 08, 2006 7:16 pm
by Jesus Prime
Ok. Did he have a smell of distilled and fermented barley about him?
Posted: Sat Apr 08, 2006 9:14 pm
by Yog-Sothoth
okay, can we stop talking about the Father in law crapping in the sea? its getting disgusting...
Posted: Sat Apr 08, 2006 10:13 pm
by E.A. Lovecraft
Can you imagine the agony of passing umbrellas and carpet tacks? The origin of red tides is no longer a mystery.
Posted: Sun Apr 09, 2006 4:26 am
by Jesus Prime
I think he's got a colon big enough to handle them.
Posted: Sun Apr 09, 2006 7:21 am
by krakenten
He probably uses broken glass to clean himself up.
This thread is degenerating.
Posted: Sun Apr 09, 2006 10:17 am
by E.A. Lovecraft
It was doomed from the beginning.