Describing clothes

[mary]

One of the more boring parts of reading occurs when the author explicitly describes what the people are wearing. For example:

"It was a hot, sunny day in the park. Miriallia approached the group. She wore an orange dress that reached down to her ankles and had on a pair of platform sandals. Kira greeted her with a wave. He had on a black jacket and a pair of blue jeans."

To fix this, I think the author should describe the clothing in passing. Unless the clothing (jewelry, or whatever) is the focus of that part of the story, there's no need to call it out as the main topic of the sentence or paragraph. For example:

"It was a hot, sunny day in the park. Miriallia approached the group, her orange dress swishing quietly in contrast to the clacking sound of her platform sandals against the concrete path. Kira greeted her with a wave, while his other hand withdrew from a jean pocket to unzip his black jacket to let in the breeze."

I can't claim to be a good writer, but I think this is a valid tip. If possible, would the more experienced writers comment upon this?


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