Of All The People I've Met [my shaggy dog story]

[Enkil]

I have spent the better part of my young life a wandering vagabond, knowing no home except my ancestral land, a large Colonial plantation just outside a small town in the great state of Virginia.

Paris, Brussels, Amsterdam, Istanbul, Kiev, these cities were no stranger to me, though I have met many a stranger in these cities. And these strangers have been of every type and personality. Women and men, children and the decrepit, blacks, whites and Asians, I’ve spoken with all of them, devoutly religious pimps in Amsterdam, carnies in Paris, scholars of the occult in Istanbul.

The world has its share of the broke, the angry and the plum crazy, and they all have stories to tell. Yet never have I met a man as perplexing… and well, to be honest, as stupid, as a farmer I met on one stifling hot day in Virginia.

I was on my way home from drifting across Eastern Europe. I had been walking along the dirt packed road that lead towards my families plantation for two hours when I came upon a farmer in a plain white cotton shirt and faded blue overalls. There was something so peculiar about this man that I stopped mid-stride, my attention gravitating towards him. It might have been how stereotypical looking he was, or it may have been that I hadn’t seen a face in the two hours I had been walking, but most likely it was the fact that he was just standing in the middle of his field, which unlike most other farmers fields around those parts, which had lush fields of corn, tomatoes and lettuce, grew only dirt clumps and a fine silt dust.

I stood there for a moment, looking at the man inquisitively, head cocked, and pondering as to what purpose he might have. The farmer made no indication acknowledging my presence except a wee nod in my direction. Moments passed and still I stood as immobile as the man opposite, all the time trying to come to a conclusion in regards to his goal. No matter how hard I thought I could not come up with a logical, or even illogical reason for his action, and decided to ask the man himself so I could put my mind to rest on the issue.

“Sir, as I’m sure you know I couldn’t help but notice that you’re just standing, in what appears to be, your desolate field. What, may I ask, are you doing?”

“Well young fellow, that’s a good question you have there. Well, I can’t quite say this without a bit of embarrassment, but since you ask… I will. You see,” he continued “I’m an old man and I haven’t done much in my life. I had a wife and a kid, I raised a few chickens and cows, but I aint never done anythin’ good in the world, so I decided to try and get that Nobel Prize I keep hearin’ about.” At first I was a confused by his words, I could understand his need to accomplish something greater in life, if only for his own peace of mind, but how he would receive the Nobel Prize by standing here for any length of time I couldn’t wrap my mind around.

“Sir, how do you figure you’ll receive the Nobel Prize by this method?”

“Another good question, it was hard thinkin’ it up myself, and I’m not surprised a young whippersnapper like you can’t think it up.” He paused. “The way I figure it, I’ll get it because they’re always giving it to those people who are outstanding in their field.”

[JJ Burke]

badump-bump-tsch!

[Eternities End]

lol quite the punchline

[tsathoggua]

I like XD