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"Ever The Same Story" by zachary waite
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Author's Notes:
This is semi-tongue in cheek. I wrote it for a sci-fi convention I guested at in 2006, and brought the house down with "that's so true!" reactions
My name is Jim Bowen, Sergeant, three striper, US Space Command. We've just garrisoned Beta 3, a planet sort of still "inhabited" albeit only sparsely, by humanoid aliens. See, the Betan attacked Earth Colony 4, in an all encompassing, Blitzkrieg of an assault, which performed 1 mission objective. They killed the men and raped and kidnapped the women. Survivors told us how to find their home planet, and the USSC was sent to punish the heathens.

I remember as a kid, an old "table top" "board game" titled "Bug Eyed Monsters, they WANT our Women", and seeing in granpa's video library zillions of movies where the alien humanoids, or even tentacular octopoid aliens etc. ALL lusted after and craved irrationally to mate with human women. I always took it as just lurid, sexist, mysoginistic fiction, but encountering the icthyic, fish/frog denizens of this world--so close in evolution to what out "Science Girls"--exo biologists--call "Innsmouth Massachussetts Deep One Hybrids"

gave me a case of the sobers, real fast--I threw away my hip bottle of hootch first day on this watery rock.

I once asked a exo-bio chick(what we call the all female cadre of alien life biologists), why it was, she thought--that alien species would want to mate with creatures not even in their same DNA and GENE POOLS. The answer she gave me was too long and complicated, but I boiled it down to "One Creating Super God Being screwing around with DNA and various Human Ancestors, twisting bodies and gene pools here and there, just for a sick joke. She ended by saying "sweetie, everyone knows the hottest pieces of a-- in the Universe are HUMAN Women, so why wouldn't all those horny male aliens want us"?

Well I'll stick to killing the ugly bastards whenever I see one--hell, what with feminism, Lesbianism, Women's Right To Choose Their Own Species as Mate, Political Correctness Official Policies, there aren't ENOUGH gals like the kind that married good old dad, to go around!

I for one want to have a house with a white forcefield fence, and a heated anti-gravity pool, and two ro three HUMAN--MY DNA IN 'EM--kids before I get too old!