A sort of Cthulhu Story........First part up.

Post by **Aleister** » Thu Jan 05, 2006 5:56 pm

I am 90% sure it will..

Will have to check

JJ Burke · Post by **JJ Burke** » Fri Jan 06, 2006 1:38 pm

hey yog, sorry i replied to the thread without even going over your story. you said you decided do discontinue it.. is that true? i have a couple of observations if the project hasn't been scrapped already.

Yog-Sothoth · Post by **Yog-Sothoth** » Sat Jan 07, 2006 9:56 pm

well, no project is ever scrapped, so give some observations

JJ Burke · Post by **JJ Burke** » Wed Jan 11, 2006 2:04 am

ok, i'll just put in my 2¢ on the dialogue issue: a lot of it is unnecessary, and some is plain corny.. the characters function like tour guides for the reader, only there to explain the circumstances until something happens.
like, it's not realistic to say, 'look behind you - that heavy stone pillar we saw earlier is now tipping in your direction, threatening serious injury or death!' it's informative but not expressive, and could have been covered with narration.
i just think more of the story's information should be coming from you, in the form of descriptive prose.

i also value people's observations of my work.. i'm investigating the public archive option for sharing the progress on my current story.